Ain't she purty?

Sorry, I couldn't resist! I heard this on the Lime and Violet podcast (yeah, I'm always behind listening to podcasts) and laughed so hard. Enjoy!

If you only read this blog to hear about the roller derby, you might as well stop. I won't be participating in that anymore. The woman I was helping to organize the league proved her true character at my expense. Not only has she now lost my help, but she's lost my friendship as well. That's a bridge that, once burned, doesn't get easily repaired.

I do want to thank S, though. She doesn't realize it, but when I most needed a friend last week (in the height of discovering the "derby-deception"), she was there. Of course, I'm a little peeved she might be moving so far away, but..... WonderTwin Power, activate!

How many of you spend time learning about yourselves? How many do it on purpose?

I confess that I do not. I know me, right. Why do I (or should I) spend time learning what I already know?

Easy. Because I don't know me.

Or rather, sometimes I learn things about myself that (once revealed) come as a major shock.

I'm looking at the following reading list (mostly mystery books) and I've noticed that I'm less stressed those months where I've read two or more books. It's not that I didn't have as much "stuff" happening, but I took time to make sure I relaxed. Obviously I need to do that to keep my sanity.

May 08: Through the Grinder
May 08: On What Grounds
May 08: Murder Most Frothy
April 08: Skeletons
April 08: Rembrandt's Ghost
March 08: The Murder of Roger Ackyrod
January 08: Real Murders
January 08: A Charmed Death
December 07: The Secret
December 07: Sweet and Deadly
December 07: Shakespeare's Landlord
November 07: Dead Until Dark
November 07: The Seance
November 07: Enchanted Cat
November 07: Guilty As Sin
November 07: Shallow Grave
September 07: Grave Surprise
September 07: Industrial Magic
September 07: The Witch is Dead
September 07: Broken
September 07: Stolen
September 07: Dime Store Magic
August 07: Abby Cooper, Psychic Eye
August 07: If I'd Killed Him When I Met Him...
August 07: Club Dead
August 07: The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter
July 07: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
July 07: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
July 07: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
July 07: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
July 07: Matters of the Blood
June 07: Desert Wives
June 07: Iron Lake
June 07: Witch Hunt
June 07: The Lawyer Who Died Trying
June 07: The Chef Who Died Sauteing
June 07: Grave Sight

My little girl isn't so little anymore. She turned 15 yesterday.

She's had a rough year. Starting high school. First boy friend. First break up. First date. Car accident. Finding out some of her friends weren't. Making new ones. Through it all, though, she's been the same basic kid. For that I'm so grateful. She has a good heart. I'm really proud to be her mom...

This has got to be one of the best commercials I've seen in awhile. But, I'm a Meatloaf fan, so I'm probably biased.

Do remember those 80s bumper stickers that said something like "mean people suck"? (By the way, they must still make them, because I found a picture of one!) Anyway, I've decided negative people aren't all that much better.

Yesterday a friend (and, yes, I do consider this woman a friend) was quick to point out that if the kid had been in this same accident in another state, she wouldn't be allowed to drive again until the age of 18. That could be true, but even the police officer who wrote the kid the ticket for failure to yield seemed upset over it. In fact, I remember him apologizing to me for writing the ticket. Yes, the accident wouldn't have happened if the kid hadn't been in the other lane. Yes, the roads were icy and wet. The kid said she slid. The cop says she was going less than 10mph. No, the kid doesn't have years or driving experience.

Now, this isn't the first time my friend has taken any piece of news and opted to put a "spin" on it. A few years ago when the kid got her braces removed, the same friend's reply to that "multi-thousand dollar smile" was something like "well, I hope they'll still be straight a year from now."

So what should I do? This friend and I are involved in a few groups and organizations together, and she's very knowledgeable about those and willing to help if she's needed, so totally ignoring her isn't an option. Besides, like I said, I do consider her my friend. And, truth be told, I don't make friends easily, which means I don't have a whole lot of them gathering around, collecting dust *grin*. And ones who are near my geographically are even more rare.

I am trying to clear my life of negativity, though. (Well, that and stress.) We've told our daughter that you are who you hang out with. I don't want to be a negative person. I really don't! I'm naturally a bit of a pessimist, I know this about myself. (I prefer to look at it as being "extra prepared for the challenges that may arise.") I really don't need someone else reminding me of the what ifs. Yet, I've noticed that I become more so after conversations with this friend. That isn't who I want to be!!!

Has anyone else ever faced this or am I alone in my struggle? Can anyone offer advice?

Will the real Jen please stand up?

Gotta love having some freaky multiple personality thing going on, huh?

In an effort to "get back to normal" I thought I'd show off some of the beautiful yarn I received last week. The first one isn't that great of a picture, but the yarn is hand-dyed in shades of blue. The white is really a light blue.

This yarn I got on e-bay. Isn't it pretty? Two skeins of each. The kid has claimed the orange/red/green/dark blue stuff as her own and wants some socks made out of it. I'll gladly do that for her.

It's one thing to write about terrible events in some fictional character's lives. It's another thing to live through an event like that in your own.

Let me explain.

Tuesday, April 1, started off like any other day. Here in the Beautiful Black Hills, we'd had some snow (not unusual for late March, early April) and the roads were a little slick. Since it was April Fool's Day, I started it off by telling the kid she didn't have school. Got her hopes up, just to say "April Fool's!" I know, I'm a meanie. She got up, got dressed, and headed off to school.

Before I continue, let me explain something. The state law in South Dakota gives 14 year olds the privilege of driving. I'm not a native of this state, so maybe that's why it's not a law I've ever agreed with. I think 14 is a bit young. If 16 was good enough for me, then it should be good enough for everyone, right? But ask any South Dakotan between the ages of 12 and 16, and you'll hear what a great idea this law is. So the kid and her dad convinced me to let her take driver's ed, let her get a car, let her drive herself to school.

So Tuesday, I'm waiting. Waiting for the call that my child is required to make. The one that is supposed to put me at ease about her driving. The one where she tells me in the most annoying of teenage voices that she's once again made it to school on time. Instead, when my phone rings, she's crying. "Mom, I've been in an accident."

My husband says my response was to scream "Oh My God!" That's when he knew something was wrong, perceptive guy that he is. I spent the next few minutes trying to talk to our daughter, answer hubby's barrage of questions and get dressed (hey, when you work out of your home, you you can delay showering right away!). I finally heard a man's voice, "You need to hang up." My sobbing daughter replied, "It's my mom. She'll be mad." The man took the phone from her and told me he was a paramedic. I needed to meet them at the hospital. Once again I thought I was going to vomit. My overactive, mystery-laden brain was coming up with all kinds of scenarios.

On the way to the hospital, I started making calls. The school needed to know she wouldn't be in today. The auto insurance company needed to know about the accident. (Where was that policy info anyway? Oh yeah, in her car.) The medical insurance company needed to know she was going to the hospital. (What do you mean I have to call you back? Aren't I supposed to get pre-authorization for everything? Oh, the rules are different in an emergency? I see.) Her grandparents needed to know.

Since the ride to the hospital obviously took at least an hour -- difficult since I know hubby was really pushing the speed limit, going the most direct route and it's only 10 miles from our home to the hospital! -- I had time to make these calls. I called my dad's cell phone. Dad is a retired cop and can handle an emergency. He didn't answer. I called Mom's phone next. Mom is a never-to-retire homemaker who doesn't deal real well with blood, vomit, or hysterical daughters. She says didn't understand a thing I said besides "I need to talk to Dad." Meanwhile I remember my husband telling me I had to calm down.

Once I got Dad on the phone, I really lost it. I was able to finish my mini-break-down (first of many, it turns out!) by the time we got to the hospital. We beat the ambulance there and had our daughter all checked in by the time she showed up. I'm not sure how that happened, to be honest. I don't remember answering any questions. Hubby probably handled that. I'm almost positive I didn't.

When we saw her, she was on a backboard with a neck brace. An oxygen tube was stuck in her nose. Her face was scratched and scraped from the airbag. Her eyes were red (well, the one she could open) from crying. Her clothing was burnt (not only the sweater, which you see here, but the cami and bra underneath it). She had two fat lips. Once again, I thought I would vomit.

I won't go through the emotions of the cat scan and x-rays. I know I talked to the cop as he gave her a ticket for failure to yield. I know I didn't argue with him. I just wanted to be back in the ER room with her. Besides, years of experience taught me not to argue with a cop. Or is that just not to argue with Dad?

I remember having to leave a few times. Telling the kid I had to pee, when I was really in the bathroom crying.

Eventually, the doc said they would release her... sort of. She needed to be taken across the street to an oral surgeon. Her jaw was "very broke." She ended up having it wired shut, a condition she doesn't need for dietary reasons (the kid is 5'6" and MAYBE 120 pounds!), but will have to live with for the next 5 weeks. At least. By the way, the cost of that part alone was more than we paid for the car. And that doesn't include follow-up visits or the ER trip.

Now, a mere two days later, I'm still a basket case. I find myself accidentally starting down the path of "what if" and can feel the tears well up inside me. I'm not sure this kid will ever get to leave sight of either her dad or me. Looking at the car, I know how close we came to losing her.

I know I will never again leave the house, or let her leave the house, or let my husband leave the house without saying those three words that annoy every teenager -- "I love you." I know that I will take my writing more seriously because it's something that is important to me and I've seen that we really don't know what tomorrow brings. I know that we should never put off what needs to be done right now -- at least not when it comes to those we love.

I'm so sorry I had to learn these lessons. I know it was Divine Intervention that kept my daughter from being "more hurt." Her angels were on the job that morning. Take a few minutes right now and tell your family and friends and loved ones what they mean to you. You might be really glad you did. No matter what, it will put things in perspective for you.

I haven't posted in a few weeks. Not much has been going on WORTH posting, to be honest.

The roller derby thing is going OK, but I'm afraid it might take way more time/commitment than I'm willing to give. I like helping out. I like being part of something that is giving to charity. I like the idea of being part of a team (I've never played sports before). But what am I thinking?? Some of the girls who signed up scare the bejesus out of me. I can't imagine being in the same building with them, let alone on a team. I think they'll kick my .... you know.... if I just look at them wrong. And I have a black belt in TaeKwonDo!

Maybe this was just a bad idea. I mean, we don't even have skates yet! Nor is there a rink to practice at!

I did lose two pounds last week, though. (OK, so TECHNICALLY I think it was 1.8 pounds!) I was so stoked! I've been exercising every day this week, too. Even went to a gym. (One local place gave all the roller derby members a free years membership!)

Haven't done much crafting. I finished the adult Jobie socks and will now work on the kids pair. This one I'm thinking will be white with a purple triangle. Well, one sock will be. the other will be reversed. OH! A new yarn stored opened in town. Spent some money on some beautiful hand-dyed yarn! I'll get a picture later.

That's it. That's been the week of Jen....

Check this out: http://www.expertvillage.com/video-series/4711_play-roller-derby.htm

Now to get ready! We're having our first info meeting on Friday night. Should be interesting!

ANOTHER week that I gained. This is getting ridiculous! Hubby, bless his little heart, keeps saying "so?" but it bothers me.

Part that really gets me is that I've actually been exercising — something I hadn't really done up to this point. I'll give it another week....

Things got a little crazy here this week. I know, what else is new?

Weight-wise, I gained four-tenths of a pound. Very frustrating since I worked out more. Even went ice skating with the Jobies (ONLY adult on the rink, by the way). And, no, I didn't fall.

Tuesday there was an article about our Roller Derby league in the local paper, since we're having in informational meeting next Friday night. My phone was ringing before 8 a.m! We've had positive results with the people who called us or found the league's MySpace page, but the online version of the story had some negative comments as well. One of my favorite was something like "I wonder what the teeth to tattoo ratio of this new venture will will." Since I've had my wisdom teeth out (side note: maybe THAT explains this roller derby thing!) does that make my ratio 28:1? Not too bad! Oh, and then there was the guy who thought we should try to make a bunch of money on this. ALL the proceeds of each bout will go to charity. We'll keep enough in an account that will cover expenses, but the rest goes to charity. The girl who got me into this mess (also a mom) and I talked it over and decided that all the charities will be kid-related. So Ronald McDonald houses, Shrine Hospitals, the Children's Home here, the book drive program through the Retired Senior Volunteer Program...those kinds of things will get the league's cash. We really want to do some of the "less advertised" programs around here. (Not that the big ones aren't good, but the little ones need help, too!) The one guy couldn't grasp that, though. After a google search I found out he had a few convictions for tax evasion. Yeah, not messing with him! Next week my friend and I are doing radio interviews. I still can't believe I'm doing this.

I haven't worked much on any hobbies, but I have been writing. Did some work on Chapter 1 of Ghost Mountain, and I think -- actually, I KNOW -- that it made it much stronger.

So that was my week. I can only imagine what next week will bring.....

Got my roller derby costume today. At least most of it. I technically have to get a Rushmore Rollerz t-shirt still and probably some bike shorts for under the skirt. But, here's what I think I'll look like!

OK, so whatcha think? Notice the fishnets? Do I look mean enough? Why am I doing this again?

Wouldn't you know that now that I lost more than a pound, I'm finding this is a BAD week for eating healthy? That's the way it seems to go, isn't it? Oh well, I've been exercising more this week than I did last week. At least so far.

FINALLY! I broke through a "number" on the scale and actually lost this week! I'm doing a happy dance! (well, not really, but I'm thinking it)

My name got approved! I'm Briana Bruiser of the Rushmore Rollerz! (#5, you see!) Kind of excited. Kind of nervous. Our first bout is already scheduled for June 21. YIKES!!!

Another gain last week. This is getting REDICIOUS! It's so bad, in fact, that I actually have been working out everyday this week. Not a lot, mind you, but at least 10 minutes. Actually, I've done the gazelle thing we have for 30 minutes one day, then a 10-minute dancing "quickie" DVD (that targets a particular body area, like belly dancing shimmers for the abs) the next day, then back to the gazelle. Let's see if that moves the scale any.

On the crafty side, I finished the "I heart Coffee/Tea/Cocoa" swap. My partner is a tea drinker mostly (she said she sometimes drinks cocoa), so I focused on the tea. She got her box of goodies yesterday.



This is a tea kettle. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a tea kettle? Just a plain one? That the handle isn't on the top? YIKES! I knit the cozy and it says "Coffee, Tea, or Me?" on it.










These coasters and the "mug cozy" were also knitted. They were ALSO my very first ever felted projects. It was kinda fun. The mug cozy thing came out really well and I know I'll be making one of those for me, and the kid, and probably my sister. Good thing it was an easy project!







Then there's this. My partner had something like this on a wist, and so I tried to recreate it. This is a tea-traveler. It holds six different types of teas (I sent some bags, and some loose-leaf), filters and stirrers. The theory is that she can take this and brew her own tea where ever she happens to be. I'm not sure I like how it came out, but for something with no pattern, I guess it's ok. If I ever make another one, though, I won't use such heavy cord for the ties. And actually, I probably will make another for a project I'm doing with my sister.

I also found a cute tea ball, a tea bag carrier for her purse, a apple-spice-tea flavored lip balm, and a TON of different teas to add to the package.

So that was that. I'm waiting for my box from her. Honestly, though, I'm just glad she liked what I sent. I enjoy the crafts, and my family is getting a little sick of my trying to make stuff for them, so I like that SOMEONE appreciates it! *grin*

Isn't she cute? She's our Roller Derby mascot. I finally picked a name (Briana Bruiser), and am waiting for it to be approved. My "partner in crime" for this went and got our first bout all set up. Too bad we don't have a TEAM yet! YIKES!

I finished the I <3 Tea/Coffee/Cocoa swap and mailed that off yesterday. When my partner gets it, I'll post pictures.

On the weight loss front, there was none. I've realized I've pretty much been playing with the same five pounds since the beginning of October. It's driving me crazy, and is really killing my motivation! Although I did get out and do some specific exercising yesterday and plan to do some later this morning. I hate exercising!

The kid has a band concert tonight. Oh! And she is "legal" to drive now (well, from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. anyway). This state is really whacked! They let 14 year olds DRIVE! Now she wants a car. Well, people "down south" want ice water, too! The kid did pass drivers ed, so that makes me feel a little better, but she still isn't getting a car or driving by herself anytime soon.

You don't have to support a war to support our troops.

One of my swaps has been sent and received. This one was really hard to craft for, I think. It was a "New Year's Resolution's Swap" at Craftster and I just didn't know how to craft for my partner's resolutions.

Here is everything I crafted. I'll explain what they are below.

One of her resolutions was to get back into yoga and bellydancing. So I crocheted a waterbottle carrier (and sent along a "Rushmore Clinic" bottle), and sewed a yoga mat bag for her.


Next resolution was to be more "eco-friendly." Good resolution, but HARD to craft for! Here's a crocheted backpack/duffel that will be great for carrying groceries.

Still on the "eco-friendly" resolution, the little white disk there is a crocheted pot & pan scrubber. The cool thing about it, though, is that it's made from plastic grocery bags! The red bag goes for her next resolution -- organizing her laundry room. It's a "delicates" bag.


Also for the laundry room, this is a missing sock jar. The poem is something like:

Can anyone out there help me ?
I’m alone and I could cry
My Twin he has gone missing
And They’ve hung me out to dry !

I can't take credit for the poem, but it sure is cute, huh?

Finally, she wanted to organize her house. So this is a "bill book" where she can put all the bills in monthly folders.

Like I said, I found these resolutions pretty tough to craft for, but I did my best. Hope she likes them...

What a week!

I've been a little stressed lately. (Hubby is rolling his eyes, I'm sure.) I have a little trouble saying no. (There goes Hubby again!) But it's the stress at home -- mostly self-imposed, I admit -- that's got me frazzled. Perfection is a pain in the arse. If I don't think I can do it right, or don't have the time to do it right, I wait. And then, in the case of laundry, for example, it piles up. And then I have to do a LOT to catch up. And then I get stressed.

Lost weight this week. Not as much as I gained the week before, but I still lost. Since the beginning of October, I've been gaining and losing the same five pounds. I'm ready to break through that, though. I need to break through that.

Did get my hair died. Finally! It's cute and I'll try to get a pic this weekend. It's darker than I've usually done, and no red, which is unusual for me. But I do like it. Oh, and there's some purple in it. That I love!

I haven't done a lot of writing this week. I think a combination of the self-imposed stress and the nasty critique made me lose my focus. I can feel it returning, though.

What else? Ah, roller derby. I'm playing with names, and the ones I really loved were taken. DANG IT! Nancy DrewBlood was my favorite, and of course taken! Now I'm thinking of Mizz Prizz. Since I'm a bit more "prissy" than some of the others. Any thoughts? I helped Pinkie B Witched fill out the grant info for our league, and the deadline was yesterday, so we should hear something soon.

I'm doing two craftster swaps. One should be finished today, and then I can focus on the second. I also have an Eastern Star official visit on Saturday. In case I didn't mention, I'm headed up the line there, as well as in Nile. (Those with no Masonic background are totally lost, I'm sure.) Up two lines? Goes back to problems saying no. I will be glad when the OV is over though.

Oh! Notice the second ticker at the top of the page? My sister challenged me to a dare. (What are we? 12?) Anyway, she bet me that I can't make a quilt every other week in 2008 and donate them all to charity. Here are her rules:

• all quilts have to be for at least a double-size bed
• they have to be made out of quality fabric ("no crappy polyester," I think she said)
• the quilts all have to be donated to a homeless shelter or women's shelter
• a picture of the quilt and a receipt from the shelter are required

So, that's 26 quilts. I got the stuff for the first one yesterday and plan to get it finished this week. Hubby wants to know when I'll make the quilt for our bed that I've been promising him. I want to do one for my dad, too, but he doesn't know about it (although he may read this occasionally) so I don't have to hear about not having that one done. Unless of course he DOES read this, and now I'll have to hear about it, won't I? Oh, the prize for our challenge is a free lunch. Not as cheap as it sounds. The loser has to drive to the others house for the weekend and buy the winner lunch. Since my sister and I live about 500 miles apart, that's a big deal. Hope sis has cash. I 'll pick a pricey lunch!

That's about it. Tons going on. Next week I hope is a little less stressful. My plan is to MAKE it less stressful!

Gained weight. Again. I'm getting so frustrated. Of course, I want my hair re-done and that appointment keeps getting put off, too, so I'm just feeling REALLY frustrated. I plan to drink more water this week (I wasn't so good about that the last month or so) and I think that will help.

The kid completed her first round of finals, and, while the grades for the final exams could have been better, her semester grades were As and Bs. No point in complaining about those grades!

I'm in the middle of doing two craftster swaps, but I won't be mentioning WHAT I'm making until I know my partners get their packages. One of my partners, I know, was checking the blog earlier. I will admit, though, that crafting for a New Year's resolution to be more organized is a challenge. I've come up with something for it, and finished that one. I just hope my partner likes it. Then again, sometimes one person's organized is another person's chaos, so I hope I'm on the right track.

Looking at the calendar, I see this is another busy week, with meetings every night. Sometimes I wonder how I get to that point, but I can't imagine giving any of them up right now. Add teaching Sunday School, and picking up the kid from school, and running to the grocery store, and making dinner, and doing laundry... sometimes I just feel like I'm at the end of my rope and even the things I volunteer to do because I like them start to be a strain.

I've written another few pages of Ghost Mountain, and I'm planning to submit it to a contest. The contest takes the first 20 pages, plus a two-page summary. I don't really care if I win. The cool thing about this contest is that the judge is an editor at one of the publishing houses. Now there is someone I'd like to ask to see the rest!

That's the week here. I lost a few pounds at WW, but I seem to be having a lot of trouble with it. Partly I know I've had the "munchies" and been REALLY craving the chocolate. I know that doesn't help, either. I saw a picture of me taken almost a year ago, and even I didn't recognize myself. Odd, isn't it? I do need to decide, though, if I want to lose another 15 or 30. I KNOW I want to do the 10 or 15, for sure. It's the other weight to put me where WW says I should be that I'm not sure about. I've decided not to make up my mind until I get to where I know I want to be. (Gee, without giving my goal weight away, that gets confusing!)

Well, that's my ramblings for tonight...

Until next time!

Do you have a friend who, whenever you get together trouble follows? In elementary school, that might mean talking in class. In high school, it might be skipping school, or talking in class, or crashing wild parties. In your 20s it's probably too many parties.

Now that I'm in my 30s and have such a friend, I've discovered that the "trouble follows" thing doesn't stop with age. Only now we're doing roller derby! Like I needed one more thing on my plate! So, Vicki and I are starting a roller derby league. M, if you're reading this, wanna join?

At least it will be fun. And I've promised hubby that I won't skate.

And really, how much trouble can we get into?

The kid is sick. Well, not so much anymore, but she was this week. Her temp reached a high-point of 102.6. YIKES! The ER doc determined it's a virus of some sort (gee, thanks) and gave her vicoden (or however THAT's spelled) for the aches and pains so she could actually get some rest. When he left the room, the kid says "Isn't that what House takes?" If she starts to walk with a limp, I'll be worried!

She has finals next week and is very concerned about them. Being homeschooled that wasn't something she ever did before. Then again, she's a freshman in high school this year, and I'm not sure "regular school" kids in middle school would have taken finals. So the weekend will be spent resting and studying.

Oh, the vicoden must have worked. Her fever finally broke last night and she was her normal, goofy, teen-age self once again.

Am I, or am I not, an author? Am I a writer? This week, I didn't think so.

I got my critique back and it was less than stellar. I didn't expect the reviewer to tell me how wonderful I was -- although that would have been nice -- but there was very little the reviewer claimed to like. Even in the section of the critique called "Strengths." Ouch. And it was marked up in red pen. Double ouch. And the reviewer's handwriting leaves much to be desired so it takes some perseverance to decipher it. Triple ouch.

So I did the big girl thing. I went in my room and bawled like a baby. My family tried consoling me by telling me the reviewer was wrong, my novel is great. Of course I answered them like a big girl. "You have to say that. You love me!" That's what I tried to say between sobs, anyway.

Now that I've calmed down a bit, I am able to be slightly more objective. I can see that the idiot who critiqued me reviewer was definitely NOT in my target audience. I can also tell that person probably doesn't read paranormals or cozies very often, if at all. The reviewer did have a few suggestions I might incorporate, but I might not. I don't know yet.

I do know that I need to find a reviewer who doesn't "love me" who is in my target audience, or at least is familiar with the sub-genre I've selected.

My change of attitude has answered my question in a way that all the love, support, and encouragement from my family and friends never could. I am a writer. I am going to be a successful author. I'm not going to let one person's opinion matter so much. Especially someone who isn't anywhere near my target audience.

I will keep writing!

Well, I weighed in this morning and gained almost 4 pounds over the Christmas/New Year weeks. Dang it! Although, to be honest, I knew I had gained. And I thought it was more like 6 pounds, so I should be proud of myself, right? In a twisted way, that makes sense.

I determined this morning that I'm very jealous of my kid sister. Wow. How petty does that sound? Welcome to my world.

My family got to see my sister and her family for Christmas. Since we've been home, I've had to hear about how nice their house is. Multiple times. Then my niece is just so dang cute, and a good kid, who listens to my sis, and right now I don't have that. (My niece grew "in" my sister's heart, not "under" it and was one of the reasons sis married her hubby, I know!) I know it's totally selfish, but I'm jealous. Right now I feel so totally out of control with things in my life that I wish I had someone else's.

I'm sure the feelings of "dog doo" will pass as I actively look for wonderous blessings in my own backyard.

I don't seem to have a lot going on this week. It was odd trying to get back in the swing of things after the holidays. I liked homeschooling much better for that reason -- we were able to start over on a Monday, and not in the middle of the week, which just seems odd.

But, of course, we had to start back "full blast!" The kid has become the JV wrestling manager at her school. Great, let the kid spend MORE time with boys. What was I thinking?! And driver's ed is going the next two weeks. It's the driving portion... stay off the roads!

Add that stuff to homework and housework and the rest of the "stuff" we do, and there's no time to breath. Ah, but for the most part we're happy and healthy and what could be better than that, really?

Dang my kid is beautiful. Then again, so is her best friend (picture #2)! Her sister isn't half bad, either (picture #3)!

For those of you in the Upper Midwest, DO NOT BE ALARMED! There are no animals dying!

At least not in the horrible ways you may be "hearing."

No, rather, my hubby got his Christmas wish — bagpipes!

Why exactly did I mention those to my parents? I'm not sure... Oh well, he's a happy camper and is actually getting a little better.

I do think the long horns on the wall clash with the pipes, though! *grin*

Well Christmas has come and gone, and still no word back on Ghost Mountain. I don't even know who ended up with it TO critique. I was talking to my sister about it, and a thought occurred to me: what if it's an author I don't like? Then if THAT PERSON doesn't like my story, I can be OK with it. But what if they do and I don't like their stores? Interesting dilemma, isn't it?

We spent Christmas with my family. First time in 10 years, to be honest. Anyway, this is a picture of the lap quilt I did for my grandmother. The blocks are the Lord's Prayer.

As for gifts, I got a lot of jewelry, a book on angels, one on saints, a few on Celtic Christianity, Pirates of the Caribbean Scene-It, and some knitting stuff. The kid got mostly clothes and fairies (she likes fairies!), and hubby got coins and bagpipes. Yes, I said bagpipes. No, he has NO IDEA how to play. My mom got the "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" DVD game and we spent some time playing that. I've learned that I AM smarter, but not by much.

Only other homemade gift I did this year was a purse set for my step-daughter. I'm not sure she liked it (she's hard to "read" ya know...), but I think it came out really well.

Just got home from visiting family for Christmas (will post more about that later) and downloaded the pictures from my camera. This one I had to post because it was so darn cute!

Haven't posted in a bit, because life was in the way. Did get a lap-quilt finished for my grandma for Christmas, and a purse set for the oldest. I'm ready for the holidays to be over because we're going to be traveling this year and that always stresses me out.

Am still losing weight. Down a bit more and have only 30 pounds to go to reach my goal. Some days that seems like a LOT. Some days I'm not sure how I managed to lose as much as I have.

Found out I am (borderline) narcoleptic. Guess that explains why I get so dang tired, huh?

Finally, I STILL haven't heard back from the Ghost Mountain critique. I have no idea who read it, or when to expect it. I was told "before Christmas" so it could be any day. Or not.

The Game is on!!! And you're IT!

Describe ME in one word - just one single word. This is really fun.

Here's how to play: 1. Post a comment here with my one word.

The Game is On!!!

I haven't posted in awhile, and for those expecting some witty comments, forget it. I feel like ranting and this is probably the safest place to do that. Be prepared to get upset.

At what point did parents stop teaching personal responsibility? How old do children have to be before they are required to act like adults? And why do the people who DO behave responsibly seem to get screwed in the process?

I grew up in an area of the city where being a white female was a serious minority. I didn't know "white guys" could even PLAY basketball (with the exception of Larry Bird, that is!) until I attended college in Missouri. I've seen more people get *stuff* because it was entitled to them. I've seen a ton of people — people of each and every color and creed — demand their share. And what did they do with it? Usually squandered it away.

Now we have kids buying and playing video games with "R" ratings and the parents can't figure out why the kids are more violent. GIVE ME A BREAK! Today music and video games and movies and even television programs have the ratings posted! It doesn't take a genius to check that stuff!

But instead, let's make excuses. Let's milk the system for all we can and then wonder why the next generation doesn't bother to do the simple things like return phone calls or take initiative, let alone the big things like pay their own bills or follow those pesky laws they don't like.

And then there are people like me. The ones who TRY to follow the laws. The ones who WORK hard for what they have and even put their own wants and desires on the back-burner because it's not the right time to get or do "whatever." We are the ones who ultimately pay for the nonsense of the "I need it, I want it, I deserve it, you owe me" sect. After 30+ years of it, I'm tired. And I really despise having to explain it to the kid.

Maybe life would be easier if I was a taker, but I'm not. And with the world filling up with more and more takers, I am starting to feel like some endangered species. As we head into the Christmas season, these aren't the feelings I'd hoped to be filled with, yet I see it everywhere. How can I fix it? How can I even fix my own little corner of it? All I can do is teach the kid.

I just hope it's enough...

Well, I was right... Had to get the kid...

What a mixed week.

I gained a pound. A full pound. Amazingly, I really wanted to LOSE that amount, so now I have to lose two pounds to make the WW official 50 pounds. Dang it.

For those who read the comments, I did mail off the first 50 pages of Ghost Mountain and it will be at the coordinator's tomorrow. Gotta love "priority mail." Now I'll be doing edits on other places. I love my critique group, but it does get hard to keep up with the edits while adding new and exciting material. Or maybe I'm just stressing.

Yeah, I know that's going on, and I know I need to make time for myself, but I don't see that happening anytime in the near future. Add the chaos of the holidays, and it really won't happen.

Oh, and the teen ager has a sore throat today, but went to school anyway. I'm waiting for them to call and say she's sick, come get her.

And I broke my toe on Sunday. It's still in the "pretty" Technicolor stage and hasn't reached "rotting fruit" shades yet. Still hurts like heck, though.

Sometimes, ya just feel like you need a vacation....

Thanks to all who commented on the summery. I made some changes. How's this?

Ghost Mountain is a paranormal cozy set in the Black Hills of South Dakota.

Cerridwen “Cerri” Baker, named after a long-forgotten Celtic goddess, is 36 years old and the mother of three. She has spent her entire life trying to fit in by not following the mystical, wise woman path her mother and sister embrace. But when her husband’s job forces the family to move to South Dakota, Cerri starts getting information from her Lakota spirit guide about a murder at a Native American holy site — Devil’s Tower.

Calling in an anonymous tip to the FBI makes her a suspect in the murder, and now she must convince the arrogant and suspicious Special Agent Joseph Oliver that she isn’t involved.

As Cerri struggles to balance her desire for normalcy with her spirit-driven destiny to help those who can’t help themselves, she finds herself at the mercy of Agent Oliver — as well as a killer protecting a deadly secret.

I sent the first 50 pages of Ghost Mountain to my mom and sister for them to look at. I want to mail those pages to the Midwest Chapter of the Mystery Writers of America's mentor program. I wonder if the author who reads them will like my book. What if they don't? What if they do? I feel like I'm posed right on the edge of this. Scary!

How does this sound? Dumb? I hate writing summaries!

Ghost Mountain is a paranormal cozy set in the Black Hills of South Dakota.

Cerridwen “Cerri” Baker is 36 years old, married, named after a long-forgotten Celtic goddess, and the mother of three who has spent her entire life trying to fit in and not follow the wise woman path her mother and sister embrace. When the Baker family moves to South Dakota, though, Cerri starts getting information from her Lakota spirit guide about a murder at a Native American Holy Site — Devil’s Tower.

Cerri must balance her desire to be normal with her spirit-driven destiny to help those who can’t help themselves.

I'm not sure I'll make the NaNo goal this year. Real life stuff seems to be blocking my fictional life, but I have written more than 2,000 words and the month is still young, so there's time.

My real goal this month, though, is to submit the first 50 pages of Ghost Mountain to be critiqued (the deadline for that is Nov. 15) and to write a synopsis of the story. I want to look for publishers by the first of the year. Of course, I still have to finish it, but what the heck!

It's started....

Today's Goal: 3,334 total
Currently written: 853

Guess I better get on the ball!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

The kid didn't take marching band, but she she had to wear the uniform anyway! Last night was a concert -- both local high school bands played and then they had a "drum line" competition. Weirdest competition ever. No trophy, no judges, no winner. But she had a good time and the bands played fantastically! (Easy to say, since her best friend is in the band at the other school!)

Finished a pair of socks this weekend. Through the "way it goes" I spent the weekend alone and rather than raid hubby's stash of Hershey's Kisses or his ice cream supply (so not fair that he can eat all that!), I decided to finish this project. The pattern is called "Hearts" (hard to see in this picture, but the design is hearts). The yarn is "Socks that Rock" from Blue Moon Fiber Arts in the color "Mustang Sally." This is the first pair I've done for ME! I like them.

Pics from the hubby's birthday October 15. The cake was made by yours truly with a special pan my mom gave me a few years ago. The pan has a "tunnel" in it, so you cook the cake and can then fill it with frosting, pudding, or (in this case!) ice cream! It was a yellow cake with strawberry ice cream.

No, there's none left.

From an e-mail sent by a good friend:

Three Things to Ponder:

1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments

Cows - Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that, when investigating Mad Cow disease, our government can track a single cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington ? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

The Constitution - They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.

The Ten Commandments - The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery", and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday, dear hubby!
Happy birthday to you!

(I'm such a brat!)

Completed two swaps at craftser.org. This one was called "Craft My Theme Round 2." Each participant listed five themes and then our info was sent on to someone else. The name I got had listed purses as one of her themes.


This little handbag is SO SOFT. I crocheted it with two strands of yarn, one "big chunky" and the other a fun fur.


These are magnets made out of polymer clay. The pink rectangle is supposed to be an evening bag and is my least favorite of the three.


This is my "large project" and is a purse, checkbook cover, and credit card holder. As you can tell, they're all embroidered with a "Parisian woman" theme and sewn from the same fabric. I liked this one so much I'm going to do the same thing for my s-d as a Christmas gift.


OK, so this one is just a little goofy. I was looking up purse crafts online and found the bra purse. I thought "why not?" I also did a cigar box purse, but forgot to take pictures of that one. I threw some tea light candles in the box, too.

For those who know me, this will NOT come as a shock. I am not a patient person.

When I decide I want something, I want it now. Not in a year. Not in the Spring. NOW.

I do, on the other hand, like to work for what I want. I also like to stay motivated. Right now, though, I'm in a weight loss slump. I'm losing more slowly and I don't like it. I've even started a mild exercise program, but the ticker doesn't seem to get any closer to that 50 pounds mark. Yes, I could up the exercise, but let's not be crazy here.

I'm seriously thinking about getting my belly button pierced. My husband just shakes his head and mumbles something about marrying a wild woman. My parents (I know my mom reads this!) will probably wonder what they did wrong. My sister will say "awesome" and I just might get cool navel jewelry from her for Christmas. My 14-year-old daughter wants to make it a "bonding moment" and have hers done too. (I think NOT! She can do it when she's older and can pay for it herself!) My 20 year old thinks it's great and I should take her sister to see it done.

But what if I loose a bunch more weight? If I make it to where Weight Watchers says I should be, I'll probably look more like a Barbie Doll than a real woman. Yes, I have boobs. I could probably lose 15 pounds just by having them reduced!

So what do I do? Do I shed another 40 some pounds? Do I only get to the 50 pound mark before getting it done? Do I just forget about it and decide I'm too old and wise for it? (Yeah, me! Wise? Whatever!)

I'm stuck. The more I think about it, the more I'm sure I'll get it done, it's just a matter of when. Back to the waiting game, but at least now I have something to think about while I wait!

I mentioned the other day that I did two swaps at craftster.org Here are pictures from the NaNoWriMo Swap. (For those who don't know, NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writers Month. The goal is to write 50,000 words toward a novel during the month of November.)


I did 30 of these little boxes. If you go by "words per day" NaNoWriMo is 1,667 words each day, so there is one of these for each 1,667 words. There is a small treat in each one. Hope my partner likes the treat, because it's the same thing for 30 days!


OK, I'm not sure what a scarf has to do with writing a novel, but it was one of the things my swap-buddy said she'd like.


This notebook is for her to write down ideas. I mean, really, what novelist DOESN'T need paper and pens?


The T-shirt says "The cure for writers cramp is writers block." I love that! I also embroidered a bookmark, but I forgot to take a picture of it.


Finally, box of writing prompts. I'll admit, these aren't all the BEST prompts, but I'm not sure exactly what my swap-buddy writes, so I went generic. There was also a candle (chocolate scented!) in the box I mailed out.

My crafting buddies still don't have their packages. Dang it! I so want to post pictures of my projects!

Maybe tomorrow....

Spent the weekend working on two swaps I'm in at craftster.org Love that site. I blame my sister for pointing it out to me.

I did the "Craft My Theme" swap and the NaNoWriMo Swap. I hope my partners enjoy what I made them. I'll post pictures as soon as I know they've received. Since I have my blog listed in my profile there, I don't want to spoil it for them.

This is great -- and oh, so true!

For those of you following my weight loss journey, here's an updated picture. I had to get all dressed up for a banquet last week and Loving Hubby took a picture before we went. I don't usually dress like that! *grin*

It's bad enough that the kid is in HIGH SCHOOL, but now she's going out on dates, too? This is her right before the homecoming coronation/dance. On the up side, I like the young man. Very nice and respectful.

I just wish she wasn't getting older. What happened to the little girl who wanted to build her house in the backyard so she wouldn't ever have to move away?

My husband has ringworm.

Ok, not really, but that’s what he’s claiming.

Let me explain.

My husband and I are very different. He’s a country boy and I’m a city girl. His ideas of necessities include bullets, beef, and beans. My list is more practical and includes haircuts, oil changes, and trips to the bookstore. My husband is a “we’ll make it work” kind of guy and I’m a “if I can’t do it right the first time, what’s the point” kind of gal.

Makes for interesting viewpoints around the house.

Well, hubby decided that his hair was a bit long. In the past he’s asked me to cut his hair, and I’ve politely turned him down — usually by pretending not to hear him ask or by suddenly remembering an errand I needed to run. He’s even purchased one of those Wal-Mart clipper things with all the fancy attachments in an attempt to persuade me.

And every few weeks, my loving, persistent husband would ask. Taking his cue from our teenage daughter, yesterday he had finally asked so often that I agreed.

I really thought, how hard can this be? He only wants a trim, right? And this razor thing is supposed to be foolproof — at least that’s what the picture on the box said.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. There’s a reason people go to school to learn to cut hair. My husband is now living proof of that reason.

We put a towel on the floor to catch the clippings, hubby sat in a chair and I got started. The buzz of the clippers sounded and I lowered it to his head.

Do you have any idea how dumb a 40-year-old man looks in a reverse Mohawk? I do now.

My first thought was “I can’t believe he talked me into this.” Followed shortly by “Maybe I can still even it out.” I still can’t believe he talked me into it and yes, at that point it could have been evened out.

But I didn’t stop there. It would have been better if I had.

I got the top of the man’s head evened out and started working on the back. OK, truth be told, it had some mullet-type qualities (think “Dog, the Bounty Hunter), but a fashion guru my Texan-born and bred husband is not. I was pretty sure he didn’t know what a mullet was, let alone what it looked like. I started on the back, trying to calm the mullet-like qualities of the butcher job… I mean, haircut.

Finally, I was finished with the big stuff. His hair wasn’t perfect, but it was cut.
I wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen in public with him and our teenage daughter wouldn’t be any more embarrassed by dad.

Then I noticed that one stray hair.

“One little clip,” I thought, “then it will be over.”

There must have been some Earth tremor right at the moment I lowered the clippers. The next thing I knew there was a clipper-sized chuck of hair falling to the ground from about an inch above his ear.

I was shocked. Short of shaving it all off, this one couldn’t be hidden.
I had a momentary thought that maybe he wouldn’t notice. It is on the side of his head and my husband isn’t always the most perceptive person.
I told him I was done — in more ways than one! — and he sauntered into the bathroom to take a look at my handiwork. All my delusions came shattering down when he yelled. Profanities. Loudly.

He’d seen the side of his head.

So, rather then admit he pestered me into giving him a haircut, he’s claiming ringworm. In his mind that’s a better explanation. He also claims to be cured.

Maybe that means he’s been cured of his pestering.

Somehow, though, I doubt it.

It's been a week now, and every day the kiddo is excited to go to school. Every day she tells me tales on the way home -- tells me of the adventure she had that day. She's told her friends that she loves school. A subject that she had always disliked is now one of her favorites.

I'm happy for her, but sad for myself. I wonder if she would have always loved that subject had I not home educated her for the past eight years. Or did I just instill a love of learning that she wouldn't have gotten in a traditional classroom? That was one of my biggest goals, you know... to teach her to love learning.

Here's something to point out: That graph at the top of the page is more then half way across! That meas I'm on the "downhill side" of my weight loss journey! Kinda cool, huh?

For the second day in a row, I've watched my baby leave the house to be "thrown to the wolves." (OK, maybe not literally, but still....) My little girl has started high school!!!

After years of celebrating "Not Back To School Day," it was a little weird to be checking to make sure she had all her supplies. And the house was so quiet! I don't think I'll ever look forward to the day summer ends. I'll never understand those parents who can't wait for the kids to be back in school.

So yesterday morning, I made her stand there so I could get a picture. And yes, she reminded me that parents only do that when their kids start kindergarten. But, hey, I gave birth to her, so that affords me some rights, doesn't it? *big grin*

My life will never be the same. Neither will the lives of all those teachers, administrators, and students who she comes in contact with. But at least I know I gave her a strong foundation to build from.