Before I begin, I will admit I'm a bit of a dork and it doesn't take much to get me all excited.

Anyway, I was in my daughter's room talking with her last night as she was waiting for her boyfriend to call. (Ah, to be 15 again!) The phone rings and she gets a confused look on her face. "Private number," she says. So she answers in a mildly professional, somewhat annoyed "I-hope-you-aren't-a-telemarketer" voice. Says, "No, she's right here, may I ask who's calling?" and hands me the phone mouthing "Chris someone from (Eastern) Star."

In the split second it takes for me to say hello, I've run through every "Chris Someone" I can think of. We have none in our chapter.

It was our Worthy Grand Matron! NEVER expected a call from her!!!! But she asked me to be an emblem bearer at Grand Chapter in October. Of course I said yes! Now, I've only been to one Grand Chapter and I was a little bummed that now I was in the line I wasn't asked to be a page (or a page to the page, even!), so I must have been walking on clouds last night when I was asked to do this!!

The dresses are only $40 and we get to wear shoes the color of our star point. I will be wearing green ones, so now I need to find pretty green shoes. Good thing the kid is going to visit Grandparents next week. I'll have better luck finding something in the big city...

I knit these socks for an auction. They earned money for HIKE (the Hearing Impaired Kids Endowment Fund). This is the official charity for Job's Daughters.

Ain't she purty?

Sorry, I couldn't resist! I heard this on the Lime and Violet podcast (yeah, I'm always behind listening to podcasts) and laughed so hard. Enjoy!

If you only read this blog to hear about the roller derby, you might as well stop. I won't be participating in that anymore. The woman I was helping to organize the league proved her true character at my expense. Not only has she now lost my help, but she's lost my friendship as well. That's a bridge that, once burned, doesn't get easily repaired.

I do want to thank S, though. She doesn't realize it, but when I most needed a friend last week (in the height of discovering the "derby-deception"), she was there. Of course, I'm a little peeved she might be moving so far away, but..... WonderTwin Power, activate!

How many of you spend time learning about yourselves? How many do it on purpose?

I confess that I do not. I know me, right. Why do I (or should I) spend time learning what I already know?

Easy. Because I don't know me.

Or rather, sometimes I learn things about myself that (once revealed) come as a major shock.

I'm looking at the following reading list (mostly mystery books) and I've noticed that I'm less stressed those months where I've read two or more books. It's not that I didn't have as much "stuff" happening, but I took time to make sure I relaxed. Obviously I need to do that to keep my sanity.

May 08: Through the Grinder
May 08: On What Grounds
May 08: Murder Most Frothy
April 08: Skeletons
April 08: Rembrandt's Ghost
March 08: The Murder of Roger Ackyrod
January 08: Real Murders
January 08: A Charmed Death
December 07: The Secret
December 07: Sweet and Deadly
December 07: Shakespeare's Landlord
November 07: Dead Until Dark
November 07: The Seance
November 07: Enchanted Cat
November 07: Guilty As Sin
November 07: Shallow Grave
September 07: Grave Surprise
September 07: Industrial Magic
September 07: The Witch is Dead
September 07: Broken
September 07: Stolen
September 07: Dime Store Magic
August 07: Abby Cooper, Psychic Eye
August 07: If I'd Killed Him When I Met Him...
August 07: Club Dead
August 07: The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter
July 07: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
July 07: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
July 07: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
July 07: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
July 07: Matters of the Blood
June 07: Desert Wives
June 07: Iron Lake
June 07: Witch Hunt
June 07: The Lawyer Who Died Trying
June 07: The Chef Who Died Sauteing
June 07: Grave Sight

My little girl isn't so little anymore. She turned 15 yesterday.

She's had a rough year. Starting high school. First boy friend. First break up. First date. Car accident. Finding out some of her friends weren't. Making new ones. Through it all, though, she's been the same basic kid. For that I'm so grateful. She has a good heart. I'm really proud to be her mom...

This has got to be one of the best commercials I've seen in awhile. But, I'm a Meatloaf fan, so I'm probably biased.

Do remember those 80s bumper stickers that said something like "mean people suck"? (By the way, they must still make them, because I found a picture of one!) Anyway, I've decided negative people aren't all that much better.

Yesterday a friend (and, yes, I do consider this woman a friend) was quick to point out that if the kid had been in this same accident in another state, she wouldn't be allowed to drive again until the age of 18. That could be true, but even the police officer who wrote the kid the ticket for failure to yield seemed upset over it. In fact, I remember him apologizing to me for writing the ticket. Yes, the accident wouldn't have happened if the kid hadn't been in the other lane. Yes, the roads were icy and wet. The kid said she slid. The cop says she was going less than 10mph. No, the kid doesn't have years or driving experience.

Now, this isn't the first time my friend has taken any piece of news and opted to put a "spin" on it. A few years ago when the kid got her braces removed, the same friend's reply to that "multi-thousand dollar smile" was something like "well, I hope they'll still be straight a year from now."

So what should I do? This friend and I are involved in a few groups and organizations together, and she's very knowledgeable about those and willing to help if she's needed, so totally ignoring her isn't an option. Besides, like I said, I do consider her my friend. And, truth be told, I don't make friends easily, which means I don't have a whole lot of them gathering around, collecting dust *grin*. And ones who are near my geographically are even more rare.

I am trying to clear my life of negativity, though. (Well, that and stress.) We've told our daughter that you are who you hang out with. I don't want to be a negative person. I really don't! I'm naturally a bit of a pessimist, I know this about myself. (I prefer to look at it as being "extra prepared for the challenges that may arise.") I really don't need someone else reminding me of the what ifs. Yet, I've noticed that I become more so after conversations with this friend. That isn't who I want to be!!!

Has anyone else ever faced this or am I alone in my struggle? Can anyone offer advice?

Will the real Jen please stand up?

Gotta love having some freaky multiple personality thing going on, huh?

In an effort to "get back to normal" I thought I'd show off some of the beautiful yarn I received last week. The first one isn't that great of a picture, but the yarn is hand-dyed in shades of blue. The white is really a light blue.

This yarn I got on e-bay. Isn't it pretty? Two skeins of each. The kid has claimed the orange/red/green/dark blue stuff as her own and wants some socks made out of it. I'll gladly do that for her.

It's one thing to write about terrible events in some fictional character's lives. It's another thing to live through an event like that in your own.

Let me explain.

Tuesday, April 1, started off like any other day. Here in the Beautiful Black Hills, we'd had some snow (not unusual for late March, early April) and the roads were a little slick. Since it was April Fool's Day, I started it off by telling the kid she didn't have school. Got her hopes up, just to say "April Fool's!" I know, I'm a meanie. She got up, got dressed, and headed off to school.

Before I continue, let me explain something. The state law in South Dakota gives 14 year olds the privilege of driving. I'm not a native of this state, so maybe that's why it's not a law I've ever agreed with. I think 14 is a bit young. If 16 was good enough for me, then it should be good enough for everyone, right? But ask any South Dakotan between the ages of 12 and 16, and you'll hear what a great idea this law is. So the kid and her dad convinced me to let her take driver's ed, let her get a car, let her drive herself to school.

So Tuesday, I'm waiting. Waiting for the call that my child is required to make. The one that is supposed to put me at ease about her driving. The one where she tells me in the most annoying of teenage voices that she's once again made it to school on time. Instead, when my phone rings, she's crying. "Mom, I've been in an accident."

My husband says my response was to scream "Oh My God!" That's when he knew something was wrong, perceptive guy that he is. I spent the next few minutes trying to talk to our daughter, answer hubby's barrage of questions and get dressed (hey, when you work out of your home, you you can delay showering right away!). I finally heard a man's voice, "You need to hang up." My sobbing daughter replied, "It's my mom. She'll be mad." The man took the phone from her and told me he was a paramedic. I needed to meet them at the hospital. Once again I thought I was going to vomit. My overactive, mystery-laden brain was coming up with all kinds of scenarios.

On the way to the hospital, I started making calls. The school needed to know she wouldn't be in today. The auto insurance company needed to know about the accident. (Where was that policy info anyway? Oh yeah, in her car.) The medical insurance company needed to know she was going to the hospital. (What do you mean I have to call you back? Aren't I supposed to get pre-authorization for everything? Oh, the rules are different in an emergency? I see.) Her grandparents needed to know.

Since the ride to the hospital obviously took at least an hour -- difficult since I know hubby was really pushing the speed limit, going the most direct route and it's only 10 miles from our home to the hospital! -- I had time to make these calls. I called my dad's cell phone. Dad is a retired cop and can handle an emergency. He didn't answer. I called Mom's phone next. Mom is a never-to-retire homemaker who doesn't deal real well with blood, vomit, or hysterical daughters. She says didn't understand a thing I said besides "I need to talk to Dad." Meanwhile I remember my husband telling me I had to calm down.

Once I got Dad on the phone, I really lost it. I was able to finish my mini-break-down (first of many, it turns out!) by the time we got to the hospital. We beat the ambulance there and had our daughter all checked in by the time she showed up. I'm not sure how that happened, to be honest. I don't remember answering any questions. Hubby probably handled that. I'm almost positive I didn't.

When we saw her, she was on a backboard with a neck brace. An oxygen tube was stuck in her nose. Her face was scratched and scraped from the airbag. Her eyes were red (well, the one she could open) from crying. Her clothing was burnt (not only the sweater, which you see here, but the cami and bra underneath it). She had two fat lips. Once again, I thought I would vomit.

I won't go through the emotions of the cat scan and x-rays. I know I talked to the cop as he gave her a ticket for failure to yield. I know I didn't argue with him. I just wanted to be back in the ER room with her. Besides, years of experience taught me not to argue with a cop. Or is that just not to argue with Dad?

I remember having to leave a few times. Telling the kid I had to pee, when I was really in the bathroom crying.

Eventually, the doc said they would release her... sort of. She needed to be taken across the street to an oral surgeon. Her jaw was "very broke." She ended up having it wired shut, a condition she doesn't need for dietary reasons (the kid is 5'6" and MAYBE 120 pounds!), but will have to live with for the next 5 weeks. At least. By the way, the cost of that part alone was more than we paid for the car. And that doesn't include follow-up visits or the ER trip.

Now, a mere two days later, I'm still a basket case. I find myself accidentally starting down the path of "what if" and can feel the tears well up inside me. I'm not sure this kid will ever get to leave sight of either her dad or me. Looking at the car, I know how close we came to losing her.

I know I will never again leave the house, or let her leave the house, or let my husband leave the house without saying those three words that annoy every teenager -- "I love you." I know that I will take my writing more seriously because it's something that is important to me and I've seen that we really don't know what tomorrow brings. I know that we should never put off what needs to be done right now -- at least not when it comes to those we love.

I'm so sorry I had to learn these lessons. I know it was Divine Intervention that kept my daughter from being "more hurt." Her angels were on the job that morning. Take a few minutes right now and tell your family and friends and loved ones what they mean to you. You might be really glad you did. No matter what, it will put things in perspective for you.

I haven't posted in a few weeks. Not much has been going on WORTH posting, to be honest.

The roller derby thing is going OK, but I'm afraid it might take way more time/commitment than I'm willing to give. I like helping out. I like being part of something that is giving to charity. I like the idea of being part of a team (I've never played sports before). But what am I thinking?? Some of the girls who signed up scare the bejesus out of me. I can't imagine being in the same building with them, let alone on a team. I think they'll kick my .... you know.... if I just look at them wrong. And I have a black belt in TaeKwonDo!

Maybe this was just a bad idea. I mean, we don't even have skates yet! Nor is there a rink to practice at!

I did lose two pounds last week, though. (OK, so TECHNICALLY I think it was 1.8 pounds!) I was so stoked! I've been exercising every day this week, too. Even went to a gym. (One local place gave all the roller derby members a free years membership!)

Haven't done much crafting. I finished the adult Jobie socks and will now work on the kids pair. This one I'm thinking will be white with a purple triangle. Well, one sock will be. the other will be reversed. OH! A new yarn stored opened in town. Spent some money on some beautiful hand-dyed yarn! I'll get a picture later.

That's it. That's been the week of Jen....

Check this out: http://www.expertvillage.com/video-series/4711_play-roller-derby.htm

Now to get ready! We're having our first info meeting on Friday night. Should be interesting!

ANOTHER week that I gained. This is getting ridiculous! Hubby, bless his little heart, keeps saying "so?" but it bothers me.

Part that really gets me is that I've actually been exercising — something I hadn't really done up to this point. I'll give it another week....

Things got a little crazy here this week. I know, what else is new?

Weight-wise, I gained four-tenths of a pound. Very frustrating since I worked out more. Even went ice skating with the Jobies (ONLY adult on the rink, by the way). And, no, I didn't fall.

Tuesday there was an article about our Roller Derby league in the local paper, since we're having in informational meeting next Friday night. My phone was ringing before 8 a.m! We've had positive results with the people who called us or found the league's MySpace page, but the online version of the story had some negative comments as well. One of my favorite was something like "I wonder what the teeth to tattoo ratio of this new venture will will." Since I've had my wisdom teeth out (side note: maybe THAT explains this roller derby thing!) does that make my ratio 28:1? Not too bad! Oh, and then there was the guy who thought we should try to make a bunch of money on this. ALL the proceeds of each bout will go to charity. We'll keep enough in an account that will cover expenses, but the rest goes to charity. The girl who got me into this mess (also a mom) and I talked it over and decided that all the charities will be kid-related. So Ronald McDonald houses, Shrine Hospitals, the Children's Home here, the book drive program through the Retired Senior Volunteer Program...those kinds of things will get the league's cash. We really want to do some of the "less advertised" programs around here. (Not that the big ones aren't good, but the little ones need help, too!) The one guy couldn't grasp that, though. After a google search I found out he had a few convictions for tax evasion. Yeah, not messing with him! Next week my friend and I are doing radio interviews. I still can't believe I'm doing this.

I haven't worked much on any hobbies, but I have been writing. Did some work on Chapter 1 of Ghost Mountain, and I think -- actually, I KNOW -- that it made it much stronger.

So that was my week. I can only imagine what next week will bring.....

Got my roller derby costume today. At least most of it. I technically have to get a Rushmore Rollerz t-shirt still and probably some bike shorts for under the skirt. But, here's what I think I'll look like!

OK, so whatcha think? Notice the fishnets? Do I look mean enough? Why am I doing this again?

Wouldn't you know that now that I lost more than a pound, I'm finding this is a BAD week for eating healthy? That's the way it seems to go, isn't it? Oh well, I've been exercising more this week than I did last week. At least so far.

FINALLY! I broke through a "number" on the scale and actually lost this week! I'm doing a happy dance! (well, not really, but I'm thinking it)