Saturday, February 15, 2014

Lessons learned... but what to do with the knowledge?

I learned something last week.

Okay, maybe I didn't actually learn it, but I was reminded of it.

I learned this:  I learned that strong women are the ones who lift each other up and not tear each other down.

I knew that.  I think I just needed to be reminded.    Now for the part that I am pretty sure I learned: Not all women want to be strong.  Not all women want to lift each other up.  Some don't even get it.

Maybe I knew that, too, but it didn't really sink in until this week.  It's not a mentality that I can understand.  Especially for adult women who volunteer to work with kids.

I guess I get the concept of "looking out for number one."  I don't believe in it, but I can understand the mentality behind it.

But to be so insecure in yourself that you allow your child to scream at an adult?  I don't understand that.  To be so full of self-doubt that you're willing to be treated awfully by that same child and not understand when someone else is defending you?  For that I am so sorry.  To be so focused on your goals that you would allow slander?  That's something you'll have to answer for in the future... maybe not on Earth, but someday.

Maybe I'm just an "odd duck," but I don't much care what you think of me.  Of the billions of people in this world, there are a handful who's opinions truly matter to me.  Women who are full of evil, full of self-righteous indignation, full of...well crap, their opinions aren't among them.

I know that's not the case for everyone.  And it wasn't always the case for me.  There was a time that people's opinions mattered.  A lot.

Women who are in leadership positions within girls' organizations who aren't strong women shouldn't be in those positions.  They are the ones who can't see the "diamond in the rough."  They can't see beyond the stubborn to find the determined.  They can't see beyond the different to find the unique.  I feel sorry for them and their narrow world view.

Would I and will I defend those not-strong women placed in leadership positions again?  Yes.  Because I am a strong woman.  Should I learn to kiss a little more ass to keep those women out of positions where they are actually hurting an organization I love?  Probably.  But I won't.  I've never been very good at kissing ass and I don't think it's a life skill I want to spend much time learning now.  Will I step away from an organization I love because of these evil women?  I don't know.  I'm thinking about it.  Very seriously.  But then I think of the other "odd duck" girls who are still learning and wonder where their strong woman role-model will be if I do.

The one thing I do know...no matter what, I'm not changing my values to make a spoiled child happy. No matter who's in charge...

Me
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