What a week!

I've been a little stressed lately. (Hubby is rolling his eyes, I'm sure.) I have a little trouble saying no. (There goes Hubby again!) But it's the stress at home -- mostly self-imposed, I admit -- that's got me frazzled. Perfection is a pain in the arse. If I don't think I can do it right, or don't have the time to do it right, I wait. And then, in the case of laundry, for example, it piles up. And then I have to do a LOT to catch up. And then I get stressed.

Lost weight this week. Not as much as I gained the week before, but I still lost. Since the beginning of October, I've been gaining and losing the same five pounds. I'm ready to break through that, though. I need to break through that.

Did get my hair died. Finally! It's cute and I'll try to get a pic this weekend. It's darker than I've usually done, and no red, which is unusual for me. But I do like it. Oh, and there's some purple in it. That I love!

I haven't done a lot of writing this week. I think a combination of the self-imposed stress and the nasty critique made me lose my focus. I can feel it returning, though.

What else? Ah, roller derby. I'm playing with names, and the ones I really loved were taken. DANG IT! Nancy DrewBlood was my favorite, and of course taken! Now I'm thinking of Mizz Prizz. Since I'm a bit more "prissy" than some of the others. Any thoughts? I helped Pinkie B Witched fill out the grant info for our league, and the deadline was yesterday, so we should hear something soon.

I'm doing two craftster swaps. One should be finished today, and then I can focus on the second. I also have an Eastern Star official visit on Saturday. In case I didn't mention, I'm headed up the line there, as well as in Nile. (Those with no Masonic background are totally lost, I'm sure.) Up two lines? Goes back to problems saying no. I will be glad when the OV is over though.

Oh! Notice the second ticker at the top of the page? My sister challenged me to a dare. (What are we? 12?) Anyway, she bet me that I can't make a quilt every other week in 2008 and donate them all to charity. Here are her rules:

• all quilts have to be for at least a double-size bed
• they have to be made out of quality fabric ("no crappy polyester," I think she said)
• the quilts all have to be donated to a homeless shelter or women's shelter
• a picture of the quilt and a receipt from the shelter are required

So, that's 26 quilts. I got the stuff for the first one yesterday and plan to get it finished this week. Hubby wants to know when I'll make the quilt for our bed that I've been promising him. I want to do one for my dad, too, but he doesn't know about it (although he may read this occasionally) so I don't have to hear about not having that one done. Unless of course he DOES read this, and now I'll have to hear about it, won't I? Oh, the prize for our challenge is a free lunch. Not as cheap as it sounds. The loser has to drive to the others house for the weekend and buy the winner lunch. Since my sister and I live about 500 miles apart, that's a big deal. Hope sis has cash. I 'll pick a pricey lunch!

That's about it. Tons going on. Next week I hope is a little less stressful. My plan is to MAKE it less stressful!

Gained weight. Again. I'm getting so frustrated. Of course, I want my hair re-done and that appointment keeps getting put off, too, so I'm just feeling REALLY frustrated. I plan to drink more water this week (I wasn't so good about that the last month or so) and I think that will help.

The kid completed her first round of finals, and, while the grades for the final exams could have been better, her semester grades were As and Bs. No point in complaining about those grades!

I'm in the middle of doing two craftster swaps, but I won't be mentioning WHAT I'm making until I know my partners get their packages. One of my partners, I know, was checking the blog earlier. I will admit, though, that crafting for a New Year's resolution to be more organized is a challenge. I've come up with something for it, and finished that one. I just hope my partner likes it. Then again, sometimes one person's organized is another person's chaos, so I hope I'm on the right track.

Looking at the calendar, I see this is another busy week, with meetings every night. Sometimes I wonder how I get to that point, but I can't imagine giving any of them up right now. Add teaching Sunday School, and picking up the kid from school, and running to the grocery store, and making dinner, and doing laundry... sometimes I just feel like I'm at the end of my rope and even the things I volunteer to do because I like them start to be a strain.

I've written another few pages of Ghost Mountain, and I'm planning to submit it to a contest. The contest takes the first 20 pages, plus a two-page summary. I don't really care if I win. The cool thing about this contest is that the judge is an editor at one of the publishing houses. Now there is someone I'd like to ask to see the rest!

That's the week here. I lost a few pounds at WW, but I seem to be having a lot of trouble with it. Partly I know I've had the "munchies" and been REALLY craving the chocolate. I know that doesn't help, either. I saw a picture of me taken almost a year ago, and even I didn't recognize myself. Odd, isn't it? I do need to decide, though, if I want to lose another 15 or 30. I KNOW I want to do the 10 or 15, for sure. It's the other weight to put me where WW says I should be that I'm not sure about. I've decided not to make up my mind until I get to where I know I want to be. (Gee, without giving my goal weight away, that gets confusing!)

Well, that's my ramblings for tonight...

Until next time!

Do you have a friend who, whenever you get together trouble follows? In elementary school, that might mean talking in class. In high school, it might be skipping school, or talking in class, or crashing wild parties. In your 20s it's probably too many parties.

Now that I'm in my 30s and have such a friend, I've discovered that the "trouble follows" thing doesn't stop with age. Only now we're doing roller derby! Like I needed one more thing on my plate! So, Vicki and I are starting a roller derby league. M, if you're reading this, wanna join?

At least it will be fun. And I've promised hubby that I won't skate.

And really, how much trouble can we get into?

The kid is sick. Well, not so much anymore, but she was this week. Her temp reached a high-point of 102.6. YIKES! The ER doc determined it's a virus of some sort (gee, thanks) and gave her vicoden (or however THAT's spelled) for the aches and pains so she could actually get some rest. When he left the room, the kid says "Isn't that what House takes?" If she starts to walk with a limp, I'll be worried!

She has finals next week and is very concerned about them. Being homeschooled that wasn't something she ever did before. Then again, she's a freshman in high school this year, and I'm not sure "regular school" kids in middle school would have taken finals. So the weekend will be spent resting and studying.

Oh, the vicoden must have worked. Her fever finally broke last night and she was her normal, goofy, teen-age self once again.

Am I, or am I not, an author? Am I a writer? This week, I didn't think so.

I got my critique back and it was less than stellar. I didn't expect the reviewer to tell me how wonderful I was -- although that would have been nice -- but there was very little the reviewer claimed to like. Even in the section of the critique called "Strengths." Ouch. And it was marked up in red pen. Double ouch. And the reviewer's handwriting leaves much to be desired so it takes some perseverance to decipher it. Triple ouch.

So I did the big girl thing. I went in my room and bawled like a baby. My family tried consoling me by telling me the reviewer was wrong, my novel is great. Of course I answered them like a big girl. "You have to say that. You love me!" That's what I tried to say between sobs, anyway.

Now that I've calmed down a bit, I am able to be slightly more objective. I can see that the idiot who critiqued me reviewer was definitely NOT in my target audience. I can also tell that person probably doesn't read paranormals or cozies very often, if at all. The reviewer did have a few suggestions I might incorporate, but I might not. I don't know yet.

I do know that I need to find a reviewer who doesn't "love me" who is in my target audience, or at least is familiar with the sub-genre I've selected.

My change of attitude has answered my question in a way that all the love, support, and encouragement from my family and friends never could. I am a writer. I am going to be a successful author. I'm not going to let one person's opinion matter so much. Especially someone who isn't anywhere near my target audience.

I will keep writing!

Well, I weighed in this morning and gained almost 4 pounds over the Christmas/New Year weeks. Dang it! Although, to be honest, I knew I had gained. And I thought it was more like 6 pounds, so I should be proud of myself, right? In a twisted way, that makes sense.

I determined this morning that I'm very jealous of my kid sister. Wow. How petty does that sound? Welcome to my world.

My family got to see my sister and her family for Christmas. Since we've been home, I've had to hear about how nice their house is. Multiple times. Then my niece is just so dang cute, and a good kid, who listens to my sis, and right now I don't have that. (My niece grew "in" my sister's heart, not "under" it and was one of the reasons sis married her hubby, I know!) I know it's totally selfish, but I'm jealous. Right now I feel so totally out of control with things in my life that I wish I had someone else's.

I'm sure the feelings of "dog doo" will pass as I actively look for wonderous blessings in my own backyard.

I don't seem to have a lot going on this week. It was odd trying to get back in the swing of things after the holidays. I liked homeschooling much better for that reason -- we were able to start over on a Monday, and not in the middle of the week, which just seems odd.

But, of course, we had to start back "full blast!" The kid has become the JV wrestling manager at her school. Great, let the kid spend MORE time with boys. What was I thinking?! And driver's ed is going the next two weeks. It's the driving portion... stay off the roads!

Add that stuff to homework and housework and the rest of the "stuff" we do, and there's no time to breath. Ah, but for the most part we're happy and healthy and what could be better than that, really?

Dang my kid is beautiful. Then again, so is her best friend (picture #2)! Her sister isn't half bad, either (picture #3)!

For those of you in the Upper Midwest, DO NOT BE ALARMED! There are no animals dying!

At least not in the horrible ways you may be "hearing."

No, rather, my hubby got his Christmas wish — bagpipes!

Why exactly did I mention those to my parents? I'm not sure... Oh well, he's a happy camper and is actually getting a little better.

I do think the long horns on the wall clash with the pipes, though! *grin*

Well Christmas has come and gone, and still no word back on Ghost Mountain. I don't even know who ended up with it TO critique. I was talking to my sister about it, and a thought occurred to me: what if it's an author I don't like? Then if THAT PERSON doesn't like my story, I can be OK with it. But what if they do and I don't like their stores? Interesting dilemma, isn't it?

We spent Christmas with my family. First time in 10 years, to be honest. Anyway, this is a picture of the lap quilt I did for my grandmother. The blocks are the Lord's Prayer.

As for gifts, I got a lot of jewelry, a book on angels, one on saints, a few on Celtic Christianity, Pirates of the Caribbean Scene-It, and some knitting stuff. The kid got mostly clothes and fairies (she likes fairies!), and hubby got coins and bagpipes. Yes, I said bagpipes. No, he has NO IDEA how to play. My mom got the "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" DVD game and we spent some time playing that. I've learned that I AM smarter, but not by much.

Only other homemade gift I did this year was a purse set for my step-daughter. I'm not sure she liked it (she's hard to "read" ya know...), but I think it came out really well.

Just got home from visiting family for Christmas (will post more about that later) and downloaded the pictures from my camera. This one I had to post because it was so darn cute!

Haven't posted in a bit, because life was in the way. Did get a lap-quilt finished for my grandma for Christmas, and a purse set for the oldest. I'm ready for the holidays to be over because we're going to be traveling this year and that always stresses me out.

Am still losing weight. Down a bit more and have only 30 pounds to go to reach my goal. Some days that seems like a LOT. Some days I'm not sure how I managed to lose as much as I have.

Found out I am (borderline) narcoleptic. Guess that explains why I get so dang tired, huh?

Finally, I STILL haven't heard back from the Ghost Mountain critique. I have no idea who read it, or when to expect it. I was told "before Christmas" so it could be any day. Or not.

The Game is on!!! And you're IT!

Describe ME in one word - just one single word. This is really fun.

Here's how to play: 1. Post a comment here with my one word.

The Game is On!!!

I haven't posted in awhile, and for those expecting some witty comments, forget it. I feel like ranting and this is probably the safest place to do that. Be prepared to get upset.

At what point did parents stop teaching personal responsibility? How old do children have to be before they are required to act like adults? And why do the people who DO behave responsibly seem to get screwed in the process?

I grew up in an area of the city where being a white female was a serious minority. I didn't know "white guys" could even PLAY basketball (with the exception of Larry Bird, that is!) until I attended college in Missouri. I've seen more people get *stuff* because it was entitled to them. I've seen a ton of people — people of each and every color and creed — demand their share. And what did they do with it? Usually squandered it away.

Now we have kids buying and playing video games with "R" ratings and the parents can't figure out why the kids are more violent. GIVE ME A BREAK! Today music and video games and movies and even television programs have the ratings posted! It doesn't take a genius to check that stuff!

But instead, let's make excuses. Let's milk the system for all we can and then wonder why the next generation doesn't bother to do the simple things like return phone calls or take initiative, let alone the big things like pay their own bills or follow those pesky laws they don't like.

And then there are people like me. The ones who TRY to follow the laws. The ones who WORK hard for what they have and even put their own wants and desires on the back-burner because it's not the right time to get or do "whatever." We are the ones who ultimately pay for the nonsense of the "I need it, I want it, I deserve it, you owe me" sect. After 30+ years of it, I'm tired. And I really despise having to explain it to the kid.

Maybe life would be easier if I was a taker, but I'm not. And with the world filling up with more and more takers, I am starting to feel like some endangered species. As we head into the Christmas season, these aren't the feelings I'd hoped to be filled with, yet I see it everywhere. How can I fix it? How can I even fix my own little corner of it? All I can do is teach the kid.

I just hope it's enough...

Well, I was right... Had to get the kid...

What a mixed week.

I gained a pound. A full pound. Amazingly, I really wanted to LOSE that amount, so now I have to lose two pounds to make the WW official 50 pounds. Dang it.

For those who read the comments, I did mail off the first 50 pages of Ghost Mountain and it will be at the coordinator's tomorrow. Gotta love "priority mail." Now I'll be doing edits on other places. I love my critique group, but it does get hard to keep up with the edits while adding new and exciting material. Or maybe I'm just stressing.

Yeah, I know that's going on, and I know I need to make time for myself, but I don't see that happening anytime in the near future. Add the chaos of the holidays, and it really won't happen.

Oh, and the teen ager has a sore throat today, but went to school anyway. I'm waiting for them to call and say she's sick, come get her.

And I broke my toe on Sunday. It's still in the "pretty" Technicolor stage and hasn't reached "rotting fruit" shades yet. Still hurts like heck, though.

Sometimes, ya just feel like you need a vacation....

Thanks to all who commented on the summery. I made some changes. How's this?

Ghost Mountain is a paranormal cozy set in the Black Hills of South Dakota.

Cerridwen “Cerri” Baker, named after a long-forgotten Celtic goddess, is 36 years old and the mother of three. She has spent her entire life trying to fit in by not following the mystical, wise woman path her mother and sister embrace. But when her husband’s job forces the family to move to South Dakota, Cerri starts getting information from her Lakota spirit guide about a murder at a Native American holy site — Devil’s Tower.

Calling in an anonymous tip to the FBI makes her a suspect in the murder, and now she must convince the arrogant and suspicious Special Agent Joseph Oliver that she isn’t involved.

As Cerri struggles to balance her desire for normalcy with her spirit-driven destiny to help those who can’t help themselves, she finds herself at the mercy of Agent Oliver — as well as a killer protecting a deadly secret.

I sent the first 50 pages of Ghost Mountain to my mom and sister for them to look at. I want to mail those pages to the Midwest Chapter of the Mystery Writers of America's mentor program. I wonder if the author who reads them will like my book. What if they don't? What if they do? I feel like I'm posed right on the edge of this. Scary!

How does this sound? Dumb? I hate writing summaries!

Ghost Mountain is a paranormal cozy set in the Black Hills of South Dakota.

Cerridwen “Cerri” Baker is 36 years old, married, named after a long-forgotten Celtic goddess, and the mother of three who has spent her entire life trying to fit in and not follow the wise woman path her mother and sister embrace. When the Baker family moves to South Dakota, though, Cerri starts getting information from her Lakota spirit guide about a murder at a Native American Holy Site — Devil’s Tower.

Cerri must balance her desire to be normal with her spirit-driven destiny to help those who can’t help themselves.