Wednesday, November 03, 2010

I woke up frustrated this morning. Maybe that's because I went to bed frustrated last night.

So, I'm going to completely vent today. Anyone who doesn't wish read it is more than welcome to continue on your day. Be Blessed and I hope you have a wonderful day!

If you're still reading, thanks. I do appreciate it.

I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately. I don't just mean the husband-wife relationship, but relationships with everyone. Maybe all parents have the same thoughts as they watch their high school Seniors fill out college applications. Maybe I just needed to evaluate relationships at this time in my life. Who knows.

I also really enjoy a good debate. Don't get me wrong: I can get as heated and opinionated as the next gal. But sit me down with a person who sees things a little differently, who is well informed and articulate, who can debate in an educated, informed manner and I really enjoy it. I like learning different things.

But people who swear they are right because they say so... not so much.

And that was my day yesterday. I was enjoying the debate until the other person decided to make a personal attack. I'm sure the person will say "oh, that's not what I meant" but I don't believe that. You see, this person truly enjoys the "low blow" style of debate. I knew this going in, and it's my own damn fault that I allowed myself to get sucked into a conversation with this person. Doesn't make the result any easier to swallow, however.

Then there are the people who don't seem to value the relationship as much as I do. You know the ones. They are too busy to call/e-mail/text you. You can try to contact them and they are too busy to return the favor. They're the ones who claim they would do whatever for you, but their actions tell you that you just don't rate in their little corner of the world.

So what am I going to do? I'm not sure. I know I should cut those toxic individuals out of my life. I should ignore them and refuse to give them "power" in my life.

It's not easy. I do care for these people, but I guess I need to cut them out. Or at least wait and see if they choose to make an effort for a relationship with me. I hesitate to do that, however, because of the backlash experience has taught me will ensue. And not just in my home, but in other ways.

Yet I don't think I should be the only one working. I shouldn't have to be insulted or demeaned in order to make others feel better about themselves.

Yes, I'm hurt. I'm really, really, really hurt. And the people who did it—people who should be more tolerant, believe it or not—are too immature and self-centered to understand where I'm coming from. I know my reaction to yesterday's drama is a little "overrated" for that one incident. But this isn't the first time that I've been the bad guy in this relationship. I shouldn't have to be. All parties involved should be mature enough to have a reasonable debate. And yet....

So, I guess I will need to purge the toxic people from my life. I'm not sure I can actually start with the ones who were the source of yesterday's frustration, but there are other, less toxic ones I can delete from my corner of the world.

I don't wish anyone ill. I hope they have wonderful lives and find happiness in all they do. I just don't want to be the victim of their attacks any longer....

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